Category Archives: Twisted News

The Most Interesting Vegan in the World 2

He sold 30 million copies of his vegan cookbook and he doesn’t cook. When he got pulled over for speeding, he gave the police vegan donuts and they apologized for slowing him down. His mother tried to eat a cheeseburger … Continue reading

Posted in Health | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Philadelphia Eagles Embark On Worldwide Animal Abuse Tour

Philadelphia — Despite years of protests and a national boycott of everything Michael Vick following his involvement in dog fighting, Philadelphia Eagles defensive end and Vick teammate Jason Babin announced this week that he plans on participating in the Running of … Continue reading

Posted in Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Most Interesting Vegan In The World

When he attends events to protest cruelty to animals, the abusers protest with him. When someone asks him where he gets his protein, he bench presses them. When he walks into a fur farm, the employees start skinning themselves. He once … Continue reading

Posted in Health | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mayor Bloomberg Needs Heart Transplant

New York – New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who recently passed legislation that will allow him to remain in office after he dies, learned from doctors today that he needs an emergency heart transplant. “Either his heart isn’t working … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Uncooked Sweet Potato Remains Uneaten On Counter

Tampa, FL – A perfectly good-looking sweet potato entered its fifth day on the kitchen counter Thursday after its owner, Sam Martin, purchased it at the grocery store. After seeing it stacked in a pile in the vegetable aisle at Whole … Continue reading

Posted in Health | Leave a comment

Star Wars Fan Scaring Neighborhood

Los Angeles, CA – Stanley Tuttle, 42, continued to weird out the neighborhood this weekend by donning a slew of vintage Star Wars costumes. Tuttle, who still remembers standing on-line to see Star Wars at the movie theater in 1977, … Continue reading

Posted in Entertainment | 1 Comment

Disgruntled Wives Use “Cash For Clunkers” Program To Trade In Husbands

Parkland, FL – Millions of women across the nation grabbed their husbands by their wrists and walked them to their nearest car dealership in hopes of exchanging them for a newer model this month. The women were inspired by President Obama’s … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Leave a comment