My Letter to Snooki

Dear Snooki,

I recently learned that you expressed compassion for lobsters on Jersey Shore stating, “That’s why I don’t eat friggin’ lobster or anything like that. Because they’re alive when you kill it.” I had a traumatic experience with lobsters as a child that eventually stopped me from eating them too. I applaud you for thinking about what you eat.

I hope you don’t mind if I ask you to do some more thinking. If you’re upset about a lobster, you might also consider listening to the sounds other animals make when people kill them for food. Simply because you don’t drop them in a pot while they’re alive doesn’t mean they suffer any less. All animals are alive when factory workers kill them.

It’s my understanding you also stated, “Every time I get excited, I have to poop.” Eating plant-based foods will help your digestive system and allow you to use the restroom at regular intervals following each meal. This decision should prevent you from having accidents when you get nervous.

I commend you for showing an interest in saving lobsters and I appreciate your statement: “I fu*kin’ like save animals like that’s what I do.” Please consider extending your concern to all animals by trying 30 Ways in 30 Days: A Guide for Compassionate Living.

Thank you for keeping an open mind.

On behalf of all animals,

Andrew Kirschner

Andrew Kirschner is a volunteer grassroots animal rights advocate and the organizer of the 2013 Florida March Against Cruelty to Animals. He writes for Kirschner’s Korner to help raise awareness about issues affecting the global community to make the world a more humane place. To receive new articles via email, enter your email in the “Follow Blog Via Email” link at the top right of the blog.

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5 Responses to My Letter to Snooki

  1. SUPER! making connections to the popular culture!! So we aren’t so f…..ing effette! :)
    of however one spells it!!

  2. Julie says:

    I seriously love this! Thank you!!! :)

  3. Linda says:

    The only reason this worries me is that it indicates that Mr. Kirschner has actually WATCHED Jersey Shore! Otherwise – great job! I have printed out his 30 day plan and will try to follow it.

    • That’s hilarious Linda. Here is everything I know about Jersey Shore: There is somebody on it named Snooki and another person named J. Wow (I think). It takes place in New Jersey. That’s it! I’ve never seen the show but I know it’s a big hit. A friend sent me this video:

      Thank you for trying the 30 day plan! Keep me posted.

  4. Jeff Hodges says:

    Hilarious AND brilliant!!! :)

    ________________________________

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