Coral Glades, FL – Timberlakes Middle School Principal Barri Ross announced today that all 181 students in the eighth grade have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Teachers were instructed to pick up and sign for all 181 Individual Education Plans (IEPs) by the end of the day. “They’re incapable of controlling their impulses,” said Dr. Erik Benson, who diagnosed the students via satellite from Seattle, Washington. The principal distributed a revised schedule that will provide extra time for students to take Ritalin, put their heads on their desk and fall asleep, bounce off the walls, smack each other in the head, and go to the bathroom several times during each class period.
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